Life gives you ups and downs and a lot of turmoil. You may lose your job, family’s trust, love, passion towards life, all at once! All you need to be grateful for is that you are still there, alive and CAN achieve what you want the most. For the last two weeks and more, I have been sick, my blood pressure is high at the age of 26, my work stress increased, my love life fell apart, my family doubted their trust on me and eventually I lost my job. Hell froze on me in a week’s time and it was all too hard to take in. I went into the depression mode, once again. I was blaming myself for everything that happened to me. There was a time I thought giving up on my life would be the ultimate solution.
And then today happened! I am still jobless, still single, and still sick and trying to get the trust of my family, but what happened today was a breakthrough and it cheered me up. I have been feeling sick, because I thought of negative things. I know it is easier said than done, but being positive is what makes you feel good. I woke up to a depressing day, I couldn’t feel the sun, I could feel a gloomy Saturday and the moment I had the house to myself, I had a realization moment – “What am I doing?” Heartbreaks are difficult and I and the ‘Confused Soul’ broke up like zillion times and still I have an ache in my heart! Jobs come and go, but still I am thinking of bills though I know I will get it figured out! I got up from the chair and went to my full size mirror, wearing extremely short shorts and loose t-shirt and told myself, “Snap out of it!!!” I told myself all the good qualities about me and how sexy I am and how bold I am and how cute I can be. I abused myself in English and Hindi and then spoke to myself for almost 5 minutes and I felt good.
I haven’t been writing, because of the heart ache and I told myself, “You started writing Chaotic Soul, when you were heartbroken and wanted to be out of the emotional coma. So what happened now? Why not continue writing unless you get a good job.”
So yes after weeks and months of depression, I have decided to come out of the sadness and work on myself, without feeling terrible. Also, if anyone wants to know my whole story on dealing with depression and how I am trying to overcome it, please do comment below and let me know!
On that note, I am planning to have a new series for chaoticsoulzzz plus start with the Year Ending Posts.
Keep Reading! Keep Blogging! Love Yourself! Keep Loving me!!!