A year and a half ago I thought running away is the option to get over with the way I feel.
I took the promotion and moved out of my home city. New place, new people, new work life should have got me the peace I was looking for. It didn’t help me, instead it made me worse.
Loneliness was never a problem for me but living alone in the new city made me realize what loneliness was like.
I decided to run away again from the new city back home. I came back home feeling much worse than before. It made me realize there are issues within me that needs help. Everything around me was suddenly turning into gray. There was this feeling of hopelessness within me which I never experienced before.
I tried working on myself. I had to start somewhere but where. I gave reading a try given the fact that I used to love to read. I gave blogging a try. I gave cooking a try. I started chatting with people. I started doing household chores. Unless I realized I’m distracting myself from the problems. I’m not really solving the problem.
I wanted to run away but running away from what? I realized I wanted to run away from myself which is impossible.