The Indian Matchmaking

I watched the dreadful show on Netflix called Indian Matchmaking.

It made me roll my eyes and grunt more than usual. I had a disgust look most of the time while watching the show except for Vyasar Ganesan. He took my heart away.

The show depicts the harsh truth of Indian communities of arrange marriages. Indians, sadly wants a girl who is beautiful. The problem is the definition of beautiful for these people is ‘Slim, trim, tall and fair’. These are the four things not present in me. Would that mean it’ll be difficult for me to get married? Maybe, but the question is why?

The beauty standards for matrimony has lowered to levels wherein people are literally looking for only a certain type of girl and then say we do not have a lot of options. I wanted my mother to watch the show in the start but as and when I progressed with the show, I realized by the time this is over so is my peace of mind.

I’m 30, fat, thinning hair, short and dusky. I’m the girl these guys from the show would never like. According to the makers of the show, girls like me would find it difficult to get a guy of our choice. Oh yeah by the way, I also have an opinion. Yes I’m a girl with an opinion. Imagine the difficulty the matchmaker will face for me.

At the start of this year my younger cousin brother got engaged in an arranged marriage setting. I’m happy for them. They are a perfect match. I love them. In the same engagement ceremony, few relatives of mine told me that I should seriously start looking for a guy to marry and lose weight. Lose weight! So when a woman grows fat after pregnancy, it is fine, but if a woman is already fat it is a problem?

I have spent maximum time of my life doubting my own beauty. I went with the Indian beauty standards and considered myself ‘Ugly’. The truth is I’m not ugly. I’m beautiful in my own way.

This show made me realize I cannot walk into the whole Matchmaking situation ever.

All the aunties out there waiting for bombard my mother with one single question, “So when is your daughter getting married?” I’m not with a guy of your choice aunty. I’m not going to sit there let the society decide if I’m good enough for someone on the basis of my looks.

Stay Home! Stay Safe! Keep Reading! Keep Blogging! Love Thyself!

One thought on “The Indian Matchmaking”

Hi Ashmita:
First, and I mean this sincerely, from my POV, you have a very pretty face. And, my male opinion means nothing until you embrace yourself. That game show is appalling, like any other dating/matchmaking “unreality” show out there.
How shallow are these people? I’ve met many “beautiful people” who were absolutely the most horrible of individuals inside. If you’re not wealthy, aging happens. The other facade wrinkles up, Dad bods take over, metabolism slows down. What are they then? Most like the same horrible people they have always been, which is not an attractive quality for me, and I assume you as well.
You’ve got your writing skills, intelligence, dedication to your passion, and most likely so much more that doesn’t appear on this blog. A lot to be proud of. I hope you are.
Last thing: take the risk: if you find a guy who attracts you on a deeper level (forgetting the looks for a bit. Attraction is a key factor), ask them out! Meet for beverages, breakfast, or lunch. Plan to take a walk and invite them. Whatever. Take what control you can.
My knowledge of Indian culture and dating is limited, gained through TV, movies, or the acquaintances I have from India. But, before you say “No” to the idea for whatever reason, try what remains in your comfort zone. Then ramp it up. Take that risk. The only failure is not trying at all.
Good luck

LikeLiked by 2 people

Join The Conversation Buddy! Cancel reply

Stu says:

July 24, 2020 at 5:51 PM

Hi Ashmita:
First, and I mean this sincerely, from my POV, you have a very pretty face. And, my male opinion means nothing until you embrace yourself. That game show is appalling, like any other dating/matchmaking “unreality” show out there.
How shallow are these people? I’ve met many “beautiful people” who were absolutely the most horrible of individuals inside. If you’re not wealthy, aging happens. The other facade wrinkles up, Dad bods take over, metabolism slows down. What are they then? Most like the same horrible people they have always been, which is not an attractive quality for me, and I assume you as well.
You’ve got your writing skills, intelligence, dedication to your passion, and most likely so much more that doesn’t appear on this blog. A lot to be proud of. I hope you are.
Last thing: take the risk: if you find a guy who attracts you on a deeper level (forgetting the looks for a bit. Attraction is a key factor), ask them out! Meet for beverages, breakfast, or lunch. Plan to take a walk and invite them. Whatever. Take what control you can.
My knowledge of Indian culture and dating is limited, gained through TV, movies, or the acquaintances I have from India. But, before you say “No” to the idea for whatever reason, try what remains in your comfort zone. Then ramp it up. Take that risk. The only failure is not trying at all.
Good luck

LikeLiked by 2 people