While growing up, I had this inferiority complex about the way I look.
I was fat, not fair, short and everything that’s not ‘right’ as per the societal guidelines. Let’s talk about my genetics, my father was plump, bald and short. My mother was wheatish and not very fair, slim but short. Now, I being the biological child of my parents got some qualities from each one of them. The society, however, declared ‘I was ugly’ because of those qualities in me.
I hate the word Ugly, but back in school I knew the opposite of beautiful is ugly. Isn’t that what we were taught in school?
Every aunty I met during social gatherings told a girl from my age group who was slimmer, fairer and better hair beautiful, I being the exact opposite of those girls naturally made me ugly. I stopped going to social gatherings. If I had to, I sat in one corner trying to avoid any people interactions.
As and when I grew, I realized there’s a lot of skinny girls who had the insecurities of their body type. Fair girls had the insecurities about not being able to go out in the sun. Girls with long hair cried about dandruff, lice and headaches. It was as if, I was in a parallel universe. I wondered this is how it is, no one is happy in their own skin.
I had a couple of flings and hundreds of crushes. Some of them liked me for who I was while the others had different preferences. By this time, calling yourself or anyone ugly was considered as an offence. I was happy because no one else will go through the same thing.
It was later proved how dumb I was. People still kept criticizing people. People still kept names. People never found anyone perfect. Children are still tortured in the name of ‘improvement’ by teachers, parents, relatives, friends etc. No kid is ever perfect. No human is ever perfect. The society has this unchangeable norms.
We are the society. If a person was called ugly in their childhood, naturally by the time they grew up they thought every person who looks like them is ugly too.
I know it is difficult to change things. I know things are still better, but I’d like a world that has no name calling, no bullying.
If a person is fat, do not make them feel inferior. If a person is skinny, do not give them tips on how to gain weight. Do not compare any children with someone else’s. Instead start talking about mental health.
The outer beauty will fade with time, the mental and emotional strength is something that will stay.
Stay Safe! Keep Reading! Keep Blogging! Love Thyself!