This is a rant.

If you’re looking for a content full blog post, today is not the day.

I was dating ‘Confused Soul’ for almost 4 years with break up every alternate days. We were way too serious.

Last year we had a serious break up and we were done, when he cheated. We connected few months ago, again. Love doesn’t go anywhere after a break up, right!

My best friend and office friend banged their head when they knew that I am talking to him again. I knew myself, that it is the wrong decision, but I couldn’t control but talk to him. There was a weird satisfaction in talking to him.

The glory days didn’t last long, even this time. He started insulting and accusing me all over again for ‘having friends’ … He accused me of being a ‘sl%t’ because I have guy friends.

‘How could he do that?’ Is what every girl would think in such situations, but me, I am used to it. He never liked me being friends with guys and I love my friends.

There was a time when I lost all my friends just because I cancelled on them everytime because he didn’t like it… How dumb of me!

Anyway, after hours of accusations and insults, I told him, we can’t do it and he can’t come back to my life saying sorry like this time. In tears while writing so, I hit the send button and shoved my face in the pillow and cried.

I couldn’t have bunked office, because staying at home and crying in front of my mom wasn’t an option. I couldn’t have cried at work also, given the fact that I have a ‘tomboyish’ girl reputation.

On my way back home, the cab driver played his entire romantic collection and eventually, I laid down and cried. The tears are the tears of anger.

I know it’s over and it hurts.

The feeling of loneliness, hurts.

The fact that I won’t have him back, hurts.

The fact that I loved a ‘fu%k boy’, hurts.

The fact it hurts so much, that I can’t even say the exact feelings to anyone, hurts!

Written by Chaotic Soul

Ashmita Chatterjee is a Creative Writer/Blogger from Mumbai. She is an Enthusiast, Straight Forward girl who has found joy in Writing Blogs. Ashmita is a Loud Creator of Amazing Blogs, Short Stories and Erotica at Chaoticsoulzzz! She started her blog in 2011. When Ashmita is not being very busy, she can be found Writing, Reading, Eating, or Recklessly Travelling with her loved ones. She is known by the name of @chaoticsoulzzz on her Twitter and Instagram.

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