Monday Motivation: Moving On

A lot of people in this world will tell you not to cry over broken hearts and to move on.

When they say so, we wonder this person who is asking me to move on is literally mocking me or doesn’t know anything about love. This person is a friend, relative, extended family, immediate family or just any one. This is the person who is brutal and tells you, “Dude you’ve got to move on.” You wonder, how easy this person thinks it is to move on from a relationship that was a part of me. In some cases, this person is no one else but your inner self. It is the worse when your inner self asks you to move on from the love of your life.

You tend to doubt your love in the first place and think, “Did I love that person?” You know why everyone is asking you to move on – because that is the only possible way at the moment to get over the grief.

Yes you loved him or her and yes I understand this person was your life and all. Be honest to yourself, in the entire timeline of this relationship did you ever have to go against your will or be upset and say sorry for things that weren’t your fault. Even after all of that you loved this person more than you loved yourself.

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The longest relationship you have with yourself is with yourself. When you fell in love and started making the small sacrifices, you started moving on from the oldest relationship. If you could move on from that, believe me moving on from this 3 year old relationship is no big deal.

Yes it will hurt. You will feel the vacuum and you will look for something that filled up the empty space. Trust me that empty space is not any other person’s space. That space is your space. Look for the answer within.

It may all sound so easy, but believe me, it is possible. I loved this one person for three years and these three years felt like a lifetime. My day started and ended with him. We were inseparable. We were vocal about our feelings with our families too and there was no scarcity of love from my end. I loved him enough for the two of us. As they say, great things come to an end. This one had to take a turn as well and that’s when things went sour. He cheated, I cried. I acted up and there were a lot of drama. Eventually, we had the final talk – the break up talk, as they call it. We decided to split for the sake of our own happiness and it did happen. I was vulnerable for days. I skipped my periods, I put on excess weight. Putting on weight wasn’t the problem, I had become unhealthy. Every night I used to cry myself to sleep and it wasn’t healthy for my mental health. I was self-proclaimed depressed and my stalking nature went a little too onboard. I was a walking psycho and I have no shame in accepting it.

Then one day, when I sat and wondered, why was I been cheated on? What was my fault in all of this? Something or someone answered to me, “Because you too cheated…” And I argued with myself, when the hell I cheated. I was loyal. I never crossed my limits. That’s when I found my answer. I had no limits. I had no boundaries. In the process of loving a person for 3 long years, I forgot to love the person who was there with me always, myself! I cheated on myself by giving up on blogging, on going out with my friends. I cheated on myself by making everything about him. I was a cheater too.

That was the day; I decided I need to start loving myself. That’s what you have to decide too – love your fucking self!

A lot of people who are asking you to move on from your heart break may seem to be wrong at this moment. Believe me you will move on at your own pace. Don’t panic! You won’t be heartbroken always. The person you loved so much has gone out of your life, but believe me that doesn’t mean you have lost love.