EMOTIONAL ABUSE – A Paradox???

Hello Guys,

I know ChaoticSoulzzz is really behind in posting on a regular basis. I would just say, it is a creative block going on. Because my best friend Shrabani loves my blog and knows there has to be some post for all the readers – She has asked me to put this on the blog. This is friendship, right? Helping your friend during the creative block!!!

She has chosen this topic of Emotional Abuse that I completely relate to. I personally loved this post and I would request you all to show some love to her through the comments.

How many of us know what an “Emotional Abuse” is??? Many I suppose!
Some of us go through it or maybe we know of someone who’s being emotionally abused. But we always don’t know what it is called.

An emotional abuse can be done by anyone irrespective of their relationship with the person. Parents can do it to their children, teachers to their students, siblings to each other, friends to one another and the list goes on. But as we all know that ChaoticSoulzzz loves to talk about “Love” relations therefore in today’s post were going to have a look at Emotional Abuse from the Love Relationships perspective.

People tend to oversee a lot of things when they are in love/relationship. Love has the power to put a guard on our eyes that makes us see only the good things in the person we love and overlook the bad ones. There’s nothing wrong in being in Love. But when that love starts to take away your life, that’s where the problem lies. Our elders have always said that every relationship takes time and efforts to build and sustain. And I agree with that. But, some people tend to confuse this with being submissive to the person and the relationship. Which is shouldn’t be the case, right?

Losing yourself while trying to maintain the relationship is the most common mistake that we tend to make. Not realizing that some people and certain situations NEVER change; and that there’s a very thin line between having HOPE and having BLIND FAITH. Where one (Hope) can give you the strength to work on yourself and the relationship. The other (Blind Faith) can lead to serious consequences in your life.

Coming back to the topic of Emotional Abuse, these are all the points I can think of which can be counted as a part of Emotional Abuse. Let’s see how this works:

Not being available emotionally when your partner needs you.

Not taking the responsibilities for your actions.

Blaming your partner for being overly sensitive and childish.

Dismissing their thoughts as baseless and nonsense.

Repetitive actions knowing that your partner is not comfortable with them.

Defaming/insulting your partner for doing things which is completely okay if it’s done by you.

Making your partner feel that they are not giving their 100% in the relationship which isn’t true… And it’s in fact YOU who isn’t giving 100%.

Constantly questioning their love and loyalty towards you.

Bringing up their past in every argument just to put them down or humiliate them.

Making them believe that they’re not good enough the way they are.

These were the 10 ways in which a person can be Emotionally Abused. So if you ended up saying YES for any of the above then either you’re emotionally abusing someone or getting abused depending on the context you’ve answered the question.

Why do I feel that it’s a Paradox? Reason being:

Emotional Abuse doesn’t necessarily have physical evidence but that doesn’t mean it’s not done.

The people who do the abuse do it on the pretext of “wanting your good” while in fact there are harming you.

These people almost never realize the fact that they’re abusing the person they love because according to them LOVE is enough to forget and neglect everything else that’s been done.

The person who’s getting abused will always be in a dilemma and be confused if what’s happening to them is some form of Love or Punishment.

These are the reason I feel that Emotional Abuse is a Paradox.

While no form of abuse should be acceptable, it is imperative that we make a conscious effort in order to understand when an Emotional Abuse is taking place.

Stand up for yourself or any person who is being Emotionally Abused. That’s the least we can do. Standing up or taking action doesn’t necessarily mean that you report it someone. The first step should always be having an open-hearted talk with the person, in this case your partner. Talk to them. Let them know that you feel emotionally drained and messed up because of the certain things they say or do. Talk with examples. Tell them the incidents that have hurt you the most.

If that doesn’t work then take help. Approach a trusted friend or family member who can understand your situation and help you out with some alternative.

If nothing works and your partner’s behavior doesn’t change towards you then WALK OUT! You’re not obligated to be with a person who make you feel unappreciated and unworthy. Better to be alone than loosing yourself while being with someone so negative.

“Emotional Abuse is as bad as Physical Abuse. Worse! Broken bones can be healed but you can’t heal a Broken MIND”

You’re the master of your world. Never forget that. And live your life the way you want to, not how others want you to live it!

Love, Laugh and Live!!!

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