After the release of Adele’s Hello, I have been listening to it every morning on YouTube. Not just the song but I fell in love with Adele more. If you haven’t seen and heard this amazing song – Here’s the Video:
Anyway, this isn’t about Adele’s song, but what it has triggered in me today. I have been very honest about my feelings on my blog and it really isn’t acceptable by a lot of people. Some people say it to me on the face (I love you guys, for being honest) while some others just say it behind me. My blog has been operating since quite some time now and I started it off as a daily journal, not knowing that there will be people reading it.
Recently, I have come across an old flame who has mentioned it more than two times that HE is reading my blog. First of all, “Thank you for reading it.” The old flame also mentioned that He is in love with my blog. Well that is really sweet of him to be so much in love with me and my blog. Again, some things when are over is over for the good, isn’t it?
The old flame was an OLD FLAME. The flame for him doesn’t ignite in me anymore and will not ignite in the near future, so is there any point in talking about it? I mean, how many times have you thought of your ex or ex-crush while you are with a new one or while you were single? I haven’t thought of him that much. So this is a letter to him and all the other ex-flames all over the world:
Dear Ex – Flame,
Hello! You are referred to as an Ex, Ex-Flame, Ex-Lover etc because it is over with you.
You had your chances while we were together. We had spare time in the day, when you chose to be at work or with your friends and told me that you will take me out next time. There were times in the past, when you met me in the shadows of early morning. There were times, when you had the chance to win over me and my family but you chose to sit in the loneliness of your room with Jack Daniels.
I loved it when you gave me ‘My Space’, but baby you’ve given me so much of space that it started feeling like Vacuum. I tried to reach out to you and tell you what am I going through and what do I need from the relationship, but you just shut me up by saying – ‘You’re so needy.’ Yes! I was needy. I loved you and you loving me back were a Need. I always waited for your call; I adjusted my time zone as per yours and shamelessly used to sit with a bump under my eye waiting for you to come on Skype.
I always knew long distance relationship won’t be easy. I in India and you all over the world; is not an easy walk. But I stayed honest. I was here waiting for you like a fool and not thinking of any other man. And you there, had the time of your life. Good! I was a fool and you were not required to be a fool. One should enjoy their life. But when I am enjoying my life, you are no one to come back and question me of my loyalty. My life was my choice but I loved you so much that I did the most foolish thing ever – I changed my life according to yours and in return you always said “You’re not the same girl, I met” Of course I am not. You Mister Old Flame changed me immensely.
I never had hidden anything from you. From my family tree to my family past, everything was on your plate on the day you said you loved me. And you said, “It doesn’t matter to me, baby.” So how come all these things mattered to you when it were 4 years down in the relationship. You had an innocent girl who loved you because you taught her the meaning of love and stayed loyal for 4 years, waiting for you. I slept with teary eyes every other night. Initially I said, Love is ____(your name)____ and then I believed that Love is A Myth…
When I met you I detested love. You asked me to believe in it. When I did, you told me how you cheated on me with your best friend and then blamed everything on my past. Funnily, my past didn’t even include me in it. And when everything was said and done, I moved on. I moved on by crying everyday with my best friend. And vulnerably thinking of you and imagining you with your friend in your bed. All I had from you was the memories of the P.S. I Love You Moment. I was content with it and moved on. New role in my career was something that helped me move on.
You came back when you were not required. You came back when I was in love with a guy who loved me more than you would ever do. He made me laugh and smile. You even tried to break us up by sending him an email and expressing your Love for me to him. Like…? Hello! What were you thinking?
Were you there when I needed you? No! He was…! He gave me the contented love I required. You are not required to call me and ask me if I was okay! You are not supposed to call me and tell me, “Damn! I asked him to take care of you and he made you cry.” If you were so damn concerned baby, you should’ve been there. When you weren’t, you have got no right to say a single word to the guy who loves me.
Once again, it was a pleasure knowing you. And thanks a lot for being the inspiration for all my short stories and blog posts. But, I don’t need you any more in my life. And I mean it. Please back off.
So that was for the guy who had come into my life before any other guy and left me being more awesome. Anyway, I would like to say that I am immensely happy with the response on my blog and social media. I am so glad that you guys are being such a sweetheart.
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Keep Reading! Keep Blogging! Love Thyself!
The Chaotic Soul 