Disclaimer: This post is very close to my heart. I have felt it and gone through it and every single word in this post is nothing but out of my heart and brain. Also, this post might hit the right spots for many, doesn’t mean that you’ll just move out of your relationship and say: ‘Chaoticsoulzzz asked us to.’ I am just describing here, how it feels in different situations.
Caution: Men would find this post to be a Men Bashing Post! Honestly, it could be!
So how many times have the guys seen their girlfriends calling them back to back and texting them simultaneously??? How many times have the guys thought, “Why does she call mes so many times?” or “Why does she call when I told her I will call her after reaching home?” or “Why is she such a pain in the back…???” or something on these lines? A lot of times, I bet. I know it is very irritating when your pathetic ringtone keeps on ringing. I also am aware of the fact that the vibration of the phone is very harmful for your health.
Now boys, how many times have you tried to put yourself in the shoes of the girls and thought what your girlfriend is going through?
Never! I am sure you haven’t thought about it unless she hasn’t mentioned it in a fight.
Do you guys realize that it can lead to some kind of depression for the lady? Do you guys have even tried to listen to what is she saying when she is angry? This can be a major problem that we are neglecting today.
I know you guys haven’t ever thought of this. Guess what? I am taking an initiative to explain the real facts to you all. Don’t thank me now. Thank me later by loving her and listening to her.
A. Why does a girl keep calling?
To start with, she isn’t foolish to continuously call you. There has to be something important, if not literally important, something important in her head that she needs to call and tell you. At times, she wants to call you and simply talk to you (Isn’t that how a relationship is supposed to be). There are a few reasons below. Read them and don’t skip them and don’t say ‘Whatever…’ in the end.
- She woke up in the middle of the night as she saw this super scary dream of you cheating on her. And she needs to talk to you for her reassurance that you are sleeping and not cheating; it’s not that she doesn’t have faith in you, she does, but her past has forced her to believe in her dreams.
- She wants you to keep your promise, for once. You promised her that you will call her after you reach home and she knows that you reached home. So why didn’t you call? You should’ve right? She wants you to keep the promise you made to her, because she has never broken a single promise and she deserves the same dedication.
- You asked her to wake you up at eight in the morning, because you want to go and play cricket. You told her this before you slept. It is morning and she got up early for you. She is now calling you to wake you up, because you asked her to. She isn’t doing this for herself but for you. Later, there’s no point yelling at her and forcing her to say sorry because she kept calling. Recollect the statement you used the night before: “Wake me up at 8 am, will you?” She isn’t at fault, is she?
- There are days in the month when she has mood swings. She might feel like meeting you, however, you are not available. So, she has decided to call you. Because, she needs to meet you. Give you a hug and that will soothe her cramps, not literally but in her head it will reduce the cramps. You can do that for her once a month, right? When you decided to be her boyfriend, you have signed the deal with all the monthly mood swings. It comes with the package.
- You and your girl had a very unreasonable fight on how you are always late for the date and how long she waited for you on the streets. You were late because of whatever reason, but after she kept the truth in front of you, you got offended and started yelling at her and disconnected the call. She now feels, she shouldn’t have told the truth. She is now guilty because she told you what’s on her mind. She told the absolute truth that made you down and hampered your male-ego and now she feels it is her fault, though it was yours. She called you one time, but you disconnected. She called you one more time but you decided to keep your phone on silent and go with friends to grab a few beer. And she kept on calling because she doesn’t know that you have gone with your friends. She feels you are upset with her and wants to tell you sorry, though it isn’t her fault.
B. What does a girl think/imagine when you don’t reply to her texts or don’t pick up the call?
She tried calling you a lot of times but you weren’t available to receive any of it. You might have a valid reason for not taking the call; however, girls have their imagination in place, which is 98% of the times correct. And it is only 2% of the times when they are incorrect. Also, just like you guys keep on saying: “We are not mind readers and girls have to be open about what do they want.” Similarly, we aren’t mind readers.. We also need to know why didn’t you receive the call. Because, honestly, we wouldn’t know what are you going through unless you let us know.
After reading the below list make sure that every single time in the future, when she calls you and you have decided not to receive it, make sure you know what she is thinking or imagining and hampering her peace of mind. And don’t say at the end of the post – ‘It’s her problem not mine’ because she will take all of this only for a while. There will be a day when she won’t care and that is when you will regret.
- You have ditched her for the date that was planned ages ago and you are not receiving her call. Her imagination starts with, you are with friends and smoking and drinking. And then the imagination goes a level higher that, you are now high on beers and there’s a hot girl and you are flirting with her and you don’t want your girlfriend to call you.
- You are not receiving her call because you both had a fight. And she thinks that you are now so upset that you are not talking to her and thinking of your ex. She is also imagining you thinking of the old days you spent with your ex. She is also imagining that you are planning and plotting a break up. And this thought is killing her internally. And she will continue with the number of calls she is making.
- You are neither receiving the call nor texting her back, though you know she wants to meet you, she is definitely imagining things like you are getting into wrong and toxic things with the friends of yours, she dislikes. She has all the right to think so, doesn’t she?
- It is 12 in the night and she knows that you don’t sleep so soon on weekends. And she was calling you to talk, just a normal conversation but you are not receiving the call, so she has now imagined you with some girl. She has imagined that you are sleeping with this girl from work.
- You haven’t been taking her call and she is calling you because you asked her to wake you up. She will start thinking that you are already up and left for the cricket match, but now what upsets her is that you didn’t text or call her though you got up.
Ladies are very emotional creatures and they feel bad about a lot of things. It is not their mistake when they are calling you repeatedly. You know there are a few ground rules that need to be followed. I am sure no one likes a girl who constantly keeps calling, but do we girls like a boyfriend who is constantly not receiving the call? We, girls, don’t like to call you and hear the words: “Don’t keep calling me.” Honestly, it hurts and it feels like our female ego (which is by the way much bigger than yours) is hampered.
Girls have this fairy tale picture ready of her Prince charming and frankly boys, you’ll are ruining the picture. We are already princesses but we don’t intend to kiss just frogs throughout our relationship years. We expect the frog to someday evolve to a prince. We expect that our guys should be at least 1% of what our fairy tale boyfriends are. We expect them to care and show that they love us. Boys usually get a clean duck out when we say: “You don’t love me anymore” and they simply say and they think it is all: “I love you but I can’t show it the way you want me to” Kaboom! Though you’ll have used this very charming statement to melt our hearts but it is temporary… We need you to show us if you love. And that doesn’t mean bring in gifts or chocolates, it means receiving the call. I am sure this is not a lot of expectation. We don’t need your money, we need your time.
Boys – We really are tired of the stuff that we initially thought was cool. We thought we will get used to you being late. We thought it will be cool to not speak on the phone for 4-5 days. We thought we will manage and not mind you flirting with others. But we are sorry, we can’t! We are tired of waiting for you to make the first call. We are tired of you to text first after a fight. We are not okay about the fact that you can’t choose us over friends. We are not okay that you can’t spend the weekend with us. We’re not okay about the fact that you are keeping your options open. We’re not okay that you sleep in the middle of a chat (at times sexts). We’re not okay with you getting high on beer and then fighting with us. We’re not okay with you not trying to know what we are feeling and going through. Please take out a day and speak to your girlfriend. Talk to her, listen to her. See what she is going through. Because both of you are unaware of the fact that she might be going through some sort of depression. Respect her.
She loves you immensely. It is honestly not a lot to ask for. Later, when she leaves you don’t tell your friends, she left me for no good reason. All these are pretty much good reasons to leave someone like you.
I tried not to be too harsh and I have used a lot of polite words. If at all the boys feel that the post was not at all polite and felt it was harsh, remember that so are your actions. This one is for every girl out there who is going through this and crying for things she hasn’t done wrong. This post is for all those who are reading it and nodding their head to a yes!
Girls – Love yourself. He will follow your actions!
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou
Quote and Tile Suggested by Alok Chatterjee (My younger brother)
Keep Reading! Keep Blogging! Love yourself more…!
The Chaotic Soul 