Who is a Bad Girl???

“Who is a bad girl? The girl who has tried a puff of cigarette once, the girl who drinks occasionally, the girl who goes out with friends, the girl who has a boyfriend, the girl who speaks better English than any other guy? Well then, I am bad girl!”

–Ashmita Chatterjee, Owner and blogger of Chaotic Soul

The society has a few terms that are totally unacceptable by me. I can’t understand a few terms. Maybe I am just incompetent in understanding the societal terms. Maybe I am just illiterate with the entire funda of ‘Renaming’ someone. You know when you sit with a gang of Aunties at someone’s wedding and they start off: “This girl has really done well. Look at her husband, though he is a little old, little arrogant, little verbally incompetent and a little bald from the top. But he is perfect for her. You know she is the bad girl of our society. She has had so many boys coming to her place and she also had a boyfriend for 2 years!” here the bride is renamed as the bad girl…! Why? Because she had a boyfriend for 2 years and she had many boys as friends. Wow! Congratulation Mrs. Bride, your middle name is now a Bad Girl!

So there’s a guy who smokes a packet of cigarettes a day and is considered to be ‘The Dude’ and there’s a girl who smokes a packet of cigarettes a day is considered to be the ‘Bad Girl’.

There’s a boy who has a girlfriend and roams with her on the bike, we say nothing about the boy but we say, the girl is ‘Shameless’.

There’s a girl who has just come out of the abortion center and people just called her a ‘Whore’ and the boy who was with her was called as ‘Caring’ boyfriend!

Here, the society is shamelessly blaming the girl for everything and renaming the girls. What about the boys? The cigarettes the boy smokes are those incense sticks? Can they only see the girl riding on the bike, maybe the boy is Mr. India or rather Mr. X? And yes the abortion happened because the girl was automatically pregnant, how can the boy be blamed for the semen that made her pregnant?

Our society says, there is gender equality and boys and girls are now the same and have equal rights. But even now, we ask the girls where is she going and by when will she come home or we give them a deadline. It is understandable that because most of the times the girls are raped so we ask the girls hell lot of questions and give them the deadlines to reach home, but the rapists are boys, they are someone’s son, so can’t we also give deadline to the boys? You never know maybe the next rapist is the boy who wasn’t given a deadline!

I am renamed so many times. I have so many names that even Deepika Padukone’s name in Chennai Express is smaller and easier than all the names given to me. I have been called a bad girl, bold girl, shameless, annoying, over smart, and many more.

In my previous company some people were shocked with the fact that a 24 year old girl was selected as a Team Leader. Some men even didn’t like the decision taken by the management. I was selected after a proper interview. I cracked a panel interview. But yes the men who applied for the same position didn’t get through because, I was wearing a tight dress, and I had my best smile on and maybe because I took a crash English speaking course of 1 hour. Nah! Well I cracked the interview only because I had the best parents who have given me the best schooling and I have had a great command over my language and my voice is stronger than any man on this Earth.

Anyway, let’s leave the professional front and let’s look at the personal and individual front. We say it is perfectly normal for the boys to watch pornography. No one makes a big deal out of it. But a girl reading erotica is wrong (previous post reference!!!). A girl reading erotica and saying it out aloud is definitely a bad girl, isn’t she? Yayyy! I just scored another bad girl point!

When in college, we have heard guys’ rate girls many times, haven’t we? It sounds cool and funny and at times sexy (to some people). So a guy giving me 7/10 for my backside is absolutely OKAY? Well, have you’ll heard girls rating boys too? I used to and at times I got a comment: “That’s cheap. You rating a guy’s backside…” On this note let’s quote a dialogue from P.S. I love you said by Denise (Lisa Kudrow) : ‘After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the divine right to stare at a man’s backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to! ’ Bang on! We, the women on this Universe have the divine right to stare at a man’s backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if we want to too.

So people who have given names to me and many more ladies out there, this one’s especially for you with loads of love:

“Our parents have put in loads of hard work in not only giving birth to us but also to give us a name. We strive harder to keep that name up and prove that we are way better than men. Judging that a girl is a bad girl because you haven’t seen your daughters done those things, is the lamest thing ever. It is a probability that your daughters have dual personalities. Because last time I checked no one is perfect! Think twice before you pass a judgment over someone.

A girl could be termed as ‘bad’, but if the same reasons that made her bad is done by a man tool, then term him bad too. Equality isn’t just good on Facebook and a topic of talking in the kitty parties, it is supposed to be practiced. Give deadlines to your boys too like you do to your girls. Because you never know your boy must be doing something to some girl that you didn’t wanted to happen with your girl. Let the girls (yours or others) live their life. People make mistakes and learn from them. If one doesn’t gets involved in a mistake the life tackling skills of that person reduces a lot.

Smoking – if it is a vice for girls it is for boys too. If making a boyfriend is wrong, making girlfriends is wrong as well. If we call someone a bad girl the gender opposite of it is a bad boy. Use that term too. Lastly, we don’t deserve to term anyone bad.

On that note, I am returning all the names to those people who have been generous and polite enough to do so many renaming ceremonies for me.

Let’s make the world a better place to stay for women as well.

Quoting ShahRukh Khan from Chennai Express: ‘Don’t underestimate the power of a common man.’

Be good and the world will be good to you.”

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