I had a crisp discussion with my mom half an hour ago. We were discussing about ‘Time to Fall in Love’. We – mother & daughter love discussing about topics and then have a small argument and then get on with our lives (she goes to work while I enjoy my morning sleep). We usually discuss about love, relationships, generation gaps, westernization, news, politics, social issues, work, weather, food etc.
My mom is one of those women who believes that everything should happen timely, while I am the types who feels anything can happen at any time. She believes that people should sleep at night, I believe that people like me who are corporate slaves and are working in night shifts have all the rights to sleep during the day.
So our discussion was Love. The conversation started with a long sip of water by me and she started speaking, “Do you have anyone in life?” I almost choked and told her, “Why do you ask that?” I told myself: **What do I tell her – that I love more than one guy at a time…? I love someone’s eyes, someone’s eyes, someone’s job, someone’s hobby, someone’s voice while someone’s behavior…? ** She looked at me with her typical bong mom stares and said, “I read your Facebook relationship status…! It said ‘It’s Complicated’…” I would’ve choked again and died if I had water in my mouth. I nodded and replied, “that’s an illusion for all those guys who want to hit on me. They’ll feel I am in a relationship and going through a rough patch and will keep away… That’s the plan…!”
She took her first bite of the bread and said, “This way you will never find anyone. This is your age to fall in love.” I looked at her in a confused manner and said, “First of all there is no age for love. I fell in love with K when I was 17 and I love him even now when he is gone. And Ma, if falling in love came with a particular age, then most of the people would’ve done arranged marriage or have died unmarried.” She looked at me took another bite and said, “First of all, 17 is not the age to fall in Love. K is gone – HE WON’T COME BACK EVER… Secondly, you have to move on and fall in love with someone before it’s too late.” I sipped my tea, cleared my throat and continued, “Ma, I haven’t made a timetable that says: ‘At 17 – Infatuation; At 20 – Love, At 25 – Marry the same person I love; At 26 – Baby!!!’ I am not planning to fall in love with someone with proper planning. And you know what somewhere down the line it’s because of you and my so sensible relatives (Sarcastically) – You all are very modern – Thank God for that! But everyone of you have told me at least once in your lifetime: ‘We are with you even if you fall in love with someone – provided he is a Bengali Brahmin and earns good, good family, looks good blah-blah-blah…’ How can I fall in love with someone with all these conditions?” I took a deep breath and looked at my mom waiting for her response. She took a deep breath as well and said, “Obviously I won’t let you marry someone who is not Bengali Brahmin. Why can’t you fall in love with some nice Bengali Brahmin boy? What is it that you don’t like about ‘OUR’ boys…?” I looked at her gave her a sarcastic smile and said, “Ma, how many Bengali Brahmin guys do I know? Just my cousins and a few guys whom you introduced me to…? Secondly, ‘OUR’ boys don’t fall in love with ‘OUR’ girls… For example, all my cousins who have married the person they love have done an inter-religion marriage! Which explains us that ‘OUR’ boys are not attracted to ‘OUR’ girls.. And so ‘OUR’ girls tend to fall in love with other guys.” (Phew)… She took her last bite and concluded the discussion by saying: “Well… I just want to tell you – it’s high time you have at least one boyfriend. And remove that relationship status from Facebook…” She continued murmuring while leaving the room, “It’s complicated – Aaj Kal ki ladkiya ladke bhagane ke liye kya kya kar Sakti hai”. I went behind her and asked, “Ma, what do you think will happen after I fall in love? You think the guy would ask me to marry him or introduce me to his parents and I will get married to him…? Trust me this is not the time that you’ve seen, where I Love you meant you are going to marry the person. This is a different world. Here being in a relationship means being in an affair – That’s it! In rare scenarios, we see a person getting married to the first person they loved. I need to wait for the first right person – and even that too wouldn’t be a success…” she ignored the entire speech I gave and instructed me about lunch.
Finally, the discussion ended. I really want to get into the mind of my mom and see what exactly is cooking up there…! There was a time, when I Love You actually meant HUGE! And now-a-days its been used in every small affair you have. I remember one of the guys I have a crush on had once told me I Love You and then we broke up (rather got separated) without even informing each other. I Love you really doesn’t mean anything these days. If a guy now tells me: “I Love you” I won’t be impressed or be all awed… If I like that guy I might just react in a ‘Me too’ or even worse ‘The feeling is mutual…’ ‘Marrying your love’, is one of the extinct theories these days, at least with the guys around me. God! Save me!
Anyway I am all set to fall on the bed and get my morning sleep.
Till then people Ciao! Keep Smiling! Keep Blogging! Keep Reading! Keep Discussing!
4 thoughts on “Is there a Time to fall in love?”
Love. And We Men. Not Everyone is Fake. And No True Love Is found every now and then. And Even When Its Found, The Complicated Society Hits You Back, This Is My Personal Experience. I Found The BEST Girl Ever, Who Is Also a Bengali.. I Just Cannot Stop Praising Her, She IS An Angel.. N We Had To Separate, Coz Her Family Couldnt Digest The Fact That- M Not a Bengali, Dont Hav Looks (Good/ Average), And The Girl Is Beautiful And Should Marry a Bengali, Be It Arranged Or Love.. 😐 Six Months.. Since We R Off.. 😥 N D 1 year We Were Together.. We Had A Loving Life.. Ashmita, We All Need Love, At Some Point of Time, We Even Find It, ( My Story- U Would Find It Amusing And Very Different) But Then Destiny Is What Plays its game.. N Leaves us Broken hearted.. 😐
WOW…. I discussed about sex once with my mom when I was in my teens. She was embarrassed to hear the word and could not look right into my eyes and talk. But she did explain well the dos and donts. During 1990…teen sex was a huge hit in delhi. everyone was sleeping with everyone. It was cool to sleep with boys or girls.
I think my mom was relieved that we discussed that topic and that I was least bothered what others were doing.
I don’t discuss much with mom. Yesterday, we discussed God and Destiny. She knows about all my crushes though, like how I went to attend a wedding only to meet my someone special. I wonder where does she get all that info about me.
I do get advised on marriage, but then, she understands now (thank god she does) that marriage, love, and everything else is too much effort for me. I mean, bahut hardwork hai yeh sab mere se nahee hota hai…shaadi ya pyaar. 🙂
Base on my ladder what I believed is love has no time table it came no matter what, where, and who you are. Having relationship really depends on the person, if u are ready to have it, to have one in your life then go. It is best to have standard to follow but sometimes love strikes you unexpectedly, for me what matter most is the man should be ready for you and for the relationship…..