What is it about virginity and love? These days’ girls who are almost five years younger than me are talking about their first time. In fact yesterday, before going to the Candle March I happened to enter CCD for a quick Kiwi Lemonade (happened to be an addiction lately). I met a girl who is apparently the daughter of ex-tutor. She was there with her cousin and was generous enough to ask me to join them. I usually don’t k=like hanging out with people younger than me because I somehow feel I am getting old. (At the age of 22? Old? Whatever)
Both the girls were already in a middle of a conversation. Let’s call Ex-tutor’s daughter as S and her cousin as C. S is around 16 now and C is apparently my age, actually a year younger than me. I had interrupted in their conversation which was about losing the virginity. I am no saint to close my ears while girls younger than me talking about losing it. The entire time they kept referring ‘virginity’ and sex as ‘it’. So what I understood from their conversation was, C had recently lost ‘it’. And she was telling her younger cousin sister about her first time.
I remember when my cousin told me about her first time I had decided I would never do ‘it’. My cousin described it as painful and not a big deal. But here C was telling S how wonderful ‘it’ was. It’s okay to give your young one’s sex education but for God’s sake she is just 16. Not an age where she would understand anything, anyway. She is naïve. No matter how bold she is and modern she is – she is till 16.
And then I thought losing ‘it’ is certainly some girls’ priority even without knowing how good or bad ‘it’ would be? I happened to tell S that the first time is painful and at a small age risky too. And S immediately snapped at me saying, “Have you done ‘it’ already?” I was confused. What am I supposed to say, the truth or say that I have done ‘it’? I blinked and then said, “I am obviously not discussing my sex or love life with you girls…” and then I smiled. I am not sure what message they got from it.
I am sure, if I would’ve said I haven’t done it they would consider me as a Dork, and if I said I have done it they would’ve bombarded me with questions. I rather decided to keep my silence and keep listening to their conversation. I then thought there was a time when talking about sex was a taboo. This is again wrong. One has to speak up and talk about it, but there’s a way to present everything. My mother never spoke to me about sex but she rather used to bring me Mills and Boons and asked me to read them. Now we all know what Mills and Boons have! I got my sex education from Mills and Boons which was again all flowery but I never understood some terms and used to Google it, which showed me the reality.
It’s not about being proud that you have lost it. There are women who are still virgin at their Thirties. For example: Kaveri from Madhuri Banerjee’s ‘Losing my virginity and other dumb ideas’ and ‘Mistakes like love and sex.’ She was virgin till she turned thirty. I am not saying to wait that long but 16 is certainly not the age. It’s not even legal.
These are some topics that can start a debate. But from an Indian Society point of view it is still weird to have a 16 year old ready and all set to have sex with her 17 year old boyfriend. Oh yeah! I didn’t mention but S has a boyfriend who is 17. And she told C that she was all set to DO IT with him. She said that with an innocent smile. Anyway I am no one to judge anyone but I did tell S later on Whats App that she should think twice as she is not at the legal age of doing it. Obviously I didn’t receive any reply to that one and I think I know what the reaction she must’ve given. But I feel it’s good to be a bit old-fashioned at 18 or below as it’s a crucial thing to do at that age.
Perception to look at things!
Keep Reading. Keep Writing. Ciao
P.S. The Kiwi Lemonade was super refreshing after the conversation and before the Candle March. Next time I have it, I am so clicking it for my blog.
- A Note from the Chaotic Diary: Sterotyped Perception… (chaoticsoulzzz.wordpress.com)
- A Note from the Chaotic Diary: Art! (chaoticsoulzzz.wordpress.com)
- Teenage Disconnect And ‘The Virgin Suicides’ (npr.org)