Dude Get a Life and Move on – Please!

‘What?’ I said after hearing what Mr. Self-Obsessed had to say. Let me introduce you to Mr. Self- Obsessed. I have mentioned about him in this post earlier. Well he is nothing but a badass who knows the all the roads of Mumbai and is quite tall. He wears custom-made clothes, belts, SHOES! (I wonder if people actually can make custom-made shoes, unless it’s Vir Sanghvi… :P)

This post is not a praising post about this guy but it is about how amazingly self-obsessed and dumb a person can be. This guy proposed to me and was my self-proclaimed boyfriend. He made sure I get all my pickups and drops on time. He walks on the floor as if he is a model and the entire office (even the basement) is his ramp. He never eats. He is very fair (turn-off). Shrabani and I feel he is some kind of Vampire who has no blood in him and always has a No-Expression-Face! (Though Vampires of the movies are really HOT, at least the ones we have seen over the years). Shrabani also feels he would fall someday on his face when he is busy doing his ramp walk all over the office (I would laugh my heart out if that happens!)

Okay! Let me tell you’ll that I do a 9 hour shift plus almost 3 hours in traveling (with the regular Mumbai Traffic). Simple calculation – I am awake and working for almost 12 hours a day. The rest 12 hours goes in Blogging, reading blogs, reading articles and liking pages on FB and commenting on the statuses uploaded by my friends. Also at times chatting with a few. I guess we all know and I am thankful that we don’t have more than 24 hours a day. Which means I am all exhausted and so is my 24 hours.

Now in all this, Mr. Self-Obsessed, who was supposed to be my – self proclaimed boyfriend, accepted some random bong chick’s friendship request from the UK and started talking to her. They had some weeks of chat (details given by Mr. Self Obsessed). He then asked her to meet him to which the girl said she would meet him when she is back to India (fair enough). Now since that day, the UK Bong Chick hasn’t replied back to his mails. Out of nowhere, yesterday, Mr. Self Obsessed accused me of being the Bong UK Chick! And that was when I gave my expression which was quite louder than I can explain it here: “WHAT???”

How can someone have such imagination? I imagine a lot about various things which are not at all meant for reading (yeah most of them are A Rated). Anyway. So he thinks I am that Bong UK Chick because,

She is a Bong, I am a Bong

She is a Girl, I am a girl

She loves Fifty Shades, and I am Fifty Shades Obsessed

Let see all of this in a very detailed manner.

Being Bong

I am a bong since 1990. I am from a typical Bong Family where Food is a major topic of discussion. My parents have been trying to teach me Bong Culture and all I have learnt over the years is Eating, Drinking, Music (Listen to) and Literature. I have big, seductive and sexy eyes. I can start my day with sweets and fish. I am too happy to know if there is another Bong in the room apart from me. I guess all this certainly makes me a Bong. And yeah, my Last name is too obvious.

Mr. Self Obsessed thinks I have made this fake profile to TALK to him which is like ROFL! Like really? Can someone go to that level of Thinking and Imagination? I love to stalk men who are worth my stalking and this one being not even a man – he is a GUY! I hate BOYS (I find them less mature – look at this one), I like Men (they can understand me and my behavior). So I am this stalker for him because The Chick from UK is a Bengali and so am I! Frankly speaking Mr. Self Obsessed, if I had to stalk someone I would never choose a last name or community that is even a bit closer to mine.

Being a Girl

The second reason for him to accuse me is because The Chick from the UK is a GIRL and so am I, hence my chances of being the same chick increases. Really? There are more than thousands of girls on Facebook. There are Lakhs of Girls in the World and you think because she is a girl and me too, it could be me! Dude get a life! First of all though you always kept saying (I guess until last week – No sorry until the night before yesterday) that you are my boyfriend and you chat with some random girl on Facebook and decide to meet her. Wow! Now that’s a question on your Loyalty!

Mr. Self- Obsessed, there are people like me who are very busy all the 24 hours and hence I have got no time to talk to you. I have no time to talk to my mother at times and you expect me to do this! (That too for YOU????)

Being Fifty Shades Obsessed

This is the best seller. Almost every girl/women/grandma/teacher has read this and is obsessed by this. There are so many pages on Facebook known as Fifty Shades Lovers, Fifty Shades obsessed etc. on Facebook. I am a part of all of them and hundreds of others too. This is certainly not a reason for anyone to have a doubt on me. Who wouldn’t be attracted to Christian Grey’s eyes, body, way of talking, richness, hotness, firmness and god knows what all? Who wouldn’t want to be Anastasia Steele? Which girl doesn’t want a Filthy rich man with all the hotness and handsome looks being in love with her? Everyone does.

Mr. Self Obsessed, just because you have read about Fifty Shades on my profile and hers, doesn’t mean we are the same. It’s just that you have just two girls in your Facebook Profile who knows what a Good Read is! Go and explore more of Facebook and Google and see how many more girls you would find who love Fifty Shades.

Actually this is what one can expect from a guy like Mr. Self Obsessed. He actually thinks that if a group of friends laughing in the cafeteria when he enters means they are laughing at him and talking about him. Dude you don’t, but we certainly have better things to think about! I really sympathize with you because your Bong Chick from UK has left you unanswered when you asked her to meet you but do you really think people like ME have that time in the world to waste behind you. I hope you are reading this post so that you would know how dumb you are.

So Mr. Self-Obsessed, every BONG GIRL who is FIFTY SHADES Obsessed isn’t your Bong Chick from UK!

This post is not at all for the guy but it’s just because I wanted to write this from the moment he accused me. I hate people accusing me for NO GOOD REASON. I really don’t understand how someone can go to that extent to grab some attention? I know there are people who make fake profiles and stalk people, I have had some bad experiences in the past wherein I caught a friend red handed acting as someone else on FB. But that doesn’t mean, people start accusing people just because of some common factors.

I just realized something. I tend to get attracted to guys who pretend to be GOOD in the beginning and then turn out to be the VILLAINS. In fact, I have been attracted to one BAD boy, that’s Mr. Saath Samundar Paar, but touch wood till date he wasn’t this bad! At least he has a mature brain, unlike Mr. Self Obsessed.

Anyway – it’s time to sleep. I don’t know why I have to go to work tomorrow and the day after. I am just so exhausted already. I need a chilled beer and some me time. Impossible this week though!