Desperate Dumb Men: I don’t NEED you at all!

I always said, “Guys and girls can be best of friends. Look at me and Ju***d!” I used to feel proud of my friendship with him. I was in fact proud of him. But good things never last. You know how it feels when you go wrong and people give you that ‘TOLD YOU’ looks!  It’s scary, isn’t it? Ah! For me it was completely a break down.


OK! Anyway! The credit for the Blog-post idea goes to Shrabani! I was going to write on some post that would’ve sounded more commercialized, she gave me the name which is more homely and so-Ashmita types. Beliefs are what, we human run behind. At least for me, it’s all about beliefs that don’t really exist, I think! Apart from my belief that, boys and girls can be friends I used to believe that healthy flirting is safe! But again to my disappointment, it turned out to be a wrong belief.

As a teenager, I was fat and the nerdy types. Even now, I am one of those fat and nerdy types but I know I have got the trick to flirt – healthy flirting! The dictionary clearly says Flirting is: “behaving amorously without any emotional commitment” and healthy flirting is nothing but flirting with your gaze and genuine compliments.


What’s wrong in telling someone, that their hair looks good after the cut? NOTHING. Exactly, there’s nothing wrong about it, but there are men in my life who think I am interested in them emotionally and physically sexually because I passed a normal comment on their T-shirt. My bad.


All the men in my life with whom I have had healthy flirting were  DESPERATE DUMB MEN (DDM). Half of them believed they were going through a MID-LIFE CRISIS at the age of Twenty Seven! God save them! Rather just save me from them. Agreed that all the men aren’t the same, but most of the men in my life are the same species! If I just take a ratio of the  Desperate Dumb Men and the Normal Men in my life, it could be, I guess 4:1. Yes! Shocking, isn’t it? For me too!

A girl isn’t interested in you just because SHE talks to you every time you send her a ‘hi’ or text her ‘what’s up?’ Guys, she replies back for two main reasons,

One: she could be really the kind heart one who can’t hurt anyone’s feelings

Two: she would be a boring girl like me who needs a company to spend her time from work to home.


Every person has the right to wear whatever they want. Let that be jeans, shorts or minis. Just because I wear shorts at home, doesn’t mean I am available. GOD! I wear them because I can’t tolerate the Mumbai Heat! Judging someone by their clothes, body language or attitude is the wrong practice done by many. One of the DDM thinks that just because I am a huge fan of ‘No Strings Attached’ and ‘Friends with Benefits’, I would be interested in that arrangement. I love the movie ‘No Strings Attached’ because, I love Ashton Kutcher. And the reason I watched ‘Friends with Benefits’ because I wanted to compare both the films!


Other guy feels that I would be interested in him because I downloaded the movie ‘No Strings Attached’ because he told me. Well in this case, maybe I did give him a wrong signal, but I also downloaded the movie ‘Bandit Queen’ when one of my school friends asked me to. I download any movie whose name and Wikipedia page appeals to me.

Okay! Me being interested in a guy is acceptable but the problem with all these men and boys are that they all think I am interested in them physically. One of the guys also complimented me by saying that I am a girl from the 70s… I know it’s an insult and he actually meant that I am that obsolete, but in some aspects, yes I am from the 70s. There are things I believe! Ah BELIEF again it is! Well but yes, I might be old in ‘getting-physical’ thing but otherwise I am just a normal girl born in the 90s. Just because someone says that they won’t get physical with someone doesn’t mean that they’re from the Baba Adam era!


Being modern isn’t about how many guys I have slept with, it’s about my thoughts. It’s about more modern things like being against Eve-teasing, being career-oriented, or just being you. Well, anyway, I won’t deny the fact that these DDMs have affected me a lot in the last few weeks, but every girl knows how to put things in place when everything’s going haywire. Yes! I had to let people know where they stand. It’s difficult to insult your best friend but end of the day as people say: “Ashmita is full of EGO” ah! I love my ego and self-respect!


Shrabani, you should be glad that you’re the only best friend left now! 😛 anyway, thanks a lot for suggesting this topic! I know I have mixed two topics that you gave me but yeah this post is because of you!


6 thoughts on “Desperate Dumb Men: I don’t NEED you at all!

  1. ” Being modern isn’t about how many guys I have slept with, it’s about my thoughts. It’s about more modern things like being against Eve-teasing, being career-oriented, or just being you. ” — this is what our society needs to know ! very well written .. 🙂


  2. such nice handwriting… and language OMG!!! r your teachers wren & martin? 🙂

    this was the 2nd time u said abt them. its difficult to make ppl understand the moral of “Oh My Friend” movie. God help those men & women.


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