I Am NO D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-T!!!

People have high hopes from me… people want me to do what they expect out of me… usually people don’t think what I want but they just think what they want from me… it is an emotional thing that hits me hard when people say, “Mita is a good girl and will never do anything bad!!!” but at times I want to be the BAD GIRL… I want to do things that people don’t want me to do… I feel like being bad at times…

When I told my mom about my craze for having a tattoo she simply said NO… people always want me to say YES to them but all I get in return from people is NO… why??? Maybe it’s my fault that I ask for permission… but people don’t expect me to do things without taking permission…

I know it’s entirely my fault as I give more importance to people than ME… I have given everyone the right to rule over me and decide things for me… my paternal and maternal relatives expect a lot from me… and they think I am one of the best girl… they rather want me to be the obedient one… but there are times when I don’t want to be obedient… I just want to break out and do all the things I have never done but wanted to do…

I am no different!!! I am like any other girl who wants the small things in life… I am happy with small things… I know I have the responsibility of my family and I love that responsibility but no responsibility should be like a prison… I know my friends expect a lot out of me and most of the time wants me to help them or be with them but there are times when I think they are wrong, but if I say that, I become the bad person and they start hating me, I know my brother loves me a lot, but if I give him some advice, his male ego is hurt….

In this entire thing where am I???  Have anyone ever asked me what do I want? Have people ever asked me what do I feel? Have people ever asked me what I hate? Have people ever listened to me? NO!!! But they want me to listen to them… WHY??? because I am ASHMITA??? Is ASHMITA all about listening to people?

Why do people make a big deal of me talking of a DATE??? Why do people give me a second look when I say I have never been in any relationship? Why do people always want me to listen to them??? Why do people don’t understand that they might be the reason for my sadness? Why do people want me to be the way they are?

If I go to be the way everyone wants me to be then I would go INSANE… when I revolt back, people make it a big issue!!! People tell me that I am a GOOD GIRL but what if I want to be the BAD GIRL?

I have never been in any relationship as I have never liked a guy in that way but that doesn’t mean that I have never flirted around… I have flirted a lot… but when I tell people that I have never been in any relationship… the counter question I get is, “what’s your age?” and now when I say, “21” they look at me and give the smile that says, “LIAR, u have been doing everything!!!” I don’t want to be in any commitment as I am scared of it… people can’t understand that!!! People are contrary in themselves… they would ask me if I am dating someone? If I say NO then they say, “what the hell you’ve been doing since so many years!!!” and if I say YES they say, “didn’t you think twice before dating a guy? Didn’t you think of your mom?” 

Guys I am fed up now… fed up of being the GOOD GIRL… I want to be the BAD rather the WORST GIRL ever… but people don’t want that to happen… maybe I will have to start thinking about myself now and not care to what others feel…

so guys just Keep Blogging!!! Keep Reading!!! and start being YOURSELF!!!